I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize
