No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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