how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
