I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
