thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
