very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
