We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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