woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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