so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
