hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize