Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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