I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
