I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I need to sanitize my soul.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
