I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
