Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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