I just threw up on my dentist
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Your cock deserves a montage
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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