Well douche your snatch and let's go!
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
