Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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