I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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