I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
