Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Randomize
