Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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