I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
