Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
