dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
