you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
