Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
