Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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