you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
