North Korea, Best Korea!
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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