I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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