The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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