Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
