I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
