Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize