I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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