Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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