summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
