wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
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