Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
