it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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