I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize