i think my tv is drunk
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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