It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
