An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize