I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
