I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
