I want to stick my p in your. b.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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