I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
