You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
