why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
