so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
