Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
