just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
pray to the hookup gods
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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