it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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