At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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