i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Randomize
