I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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