There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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